Good or Bad

Pictures say it best

               
                         

                   
              
                       

         
                             

Sometimes tears say all there is to say

                                              
                        
                                              Sometimes tears say all there is to say
                                     Sometimes your first scars won't ever fade away...
                                                      
                                                      Tried to break my heart 
                                                      Well it's broke
                                                      Tried to hang me high 
                                                      Well I'm choked 
                                                      Wanted rain on me
                                                      Well I'm soaked 
                                                      Soaked to the skin 

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes 
Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away

                        

Remember when

I remember when I was wide-eyed and excited about what I could be, What I would be, Who I'd fall for and end up with for eternity, happily ever after.  I never thought reality would find me. I'd somehow be an exception. I'd somehow out smart it. I'd have all my dreams come true. Everything would work out and fall into place. 

I don't know where to go now that things have shifted and become tainted. I'm struggling to stand, after the fall. I've had the wind knocked out of me so hard that I'm still disoriented. Where do you start, when all that you hoped for, believed in and planned on, has become almost unattainable and false. What do you do when the fear of  "It's become to late" has crippled and paralyzed you where you stand.  When your hope has faded to almost non- existence.  And any microscopic shred of hope that is left, has been buried and locked away so deep, yourself can not find it.     

Come back to me

 Why have you gone? Why did you stop contact? Why did we stop getting together? I ache for you. I cry and feel myself being torn apart and dying inside. I've become inconsolable. I can't help bursting into tears. Where are you? I desperately need you? I wanted only you. I miss you so much. You were and are, the only one I ever wanted to open up to, and who I wanted to love me. You are the only one I ever wanted to hold me, to touch me, to kiss me. I yearn for your kiss and your arms around me. I miss how you put your chin on my shoulder, hold me tighter and I'd feel you breathe and laugh in my ear. I miss how you'd pull your strong beautiful arms tighter around me. I miss you holding my hand, playing with my fingers with your beautiful hands. I miss the way you looked, I miss the way you smelled, the way you dressed, your smile, your laugh. I miss you so much, that it has torn my heart in two. Never to love again. You acted so very happy and interested... I start to reciprocate the feelings back and....here we are. I'm lucky if I get a text. But that's after minutes, hours and days of waiting. I wait for any form of contact from you. And cry until I do. Missing you and everything, plus the waiting to hear back from you is killing me. My broken heart I fear will never heal. "...I always got by on my own...and now it chills me to the bone. How do I get you alone?..." I admit it.....I love you. I can't go on with out you. I'm dying inside.... Please come back to me, come back

Born to be real

I really struggle with this. I know it's true ... but no matter how hard I try, I can't fully convince myself.

I am barely starting to accept my body. I'm on the road to self acceptance. I'm never going to look the way everyone else says looks perfect, gorgeous and attractive. Which cripples me still most days. But I'm getting better. I am trying my best, with what I have. I hope someone will love me the way I am. And over look everything I lack. I know that I need to be that person... But I yearn for love from another...